Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Kara's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, July 15th, 2007
9:16 am	Ozzfest I got two free tickets to Ozzefest. I was stoked cause to would be my first real concert but after thinking on it for the evening Chris and I decided not to go. It's not the type of atmosphere we want in our life anymore. That's alright, we had a great day with out it My sister Julie is in town until the end of Aug. I think that's awesome. She is one of my favorite people. We went to farmers market yesterday with mom and grandma and Julie. I don't know how she does it, but she danced with the girls and chased them around for about an hour straight. I made myself sick by drinking too much blueberry lemonaide (YUM), and Chris made himself sick by looking for Julie and the girls through the guy pride event that was taking place in the park and seeing too many guys in rainbow speedos (NOT YUM). Even professional swimmers don't like wearing those things. Anyway, we ran into some friends making there way through the market, it was nice to see them. We went to an ice cream social at the church, it was outside in the pavillian and the girls covered themselves in dirt. They had fun. Then we went to a ferwell party for Todd and Marci, the KJ and bartender at the kareoke bar that we have been going to for the last year. It was at FaFas which has pool tables :D but the sound system for the kareoke stinks :@. It's supposed to change soon for the better, but it's just as well, chris and I need a bit of a break from it anyway. We have more important things we could be doing with that time and money. An occasional visit to catch up with everyone and get some pool and singing in will be nice though. For today, mom, Julie, Mindy and Matthew will be coming with us to church. I invited Tog, but he didn't even get back to me yesterday when I tried to give him my concert tickets. I offered to make him a proper birthday dinner after church. I think he's 24 today.* (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 8th, 2007
9:01 pm	I had a nice day today. Last night was the last night of kareoke so I was up all night. The girls were at moms so I took a sleep aid and slept till 12:30 then had to get up for church. Matthew came to church with us, he was annoyed by one of the speakers because, they are not a very good public speaker. My mom explained that it's not his job, he does not get paid to be a speaker, it's something he makes time for and he will probably get better as time goes on. He agreed that it was a very good message though. Our other classes were on prayer and faith. It's amazing to me how deep some very simple topics can be. Chris had to go to sleep as soon as we got home so he can work at 12:30 tomorrow morning. I read some then took a nap, too, then Symon woke me up dropping off our remote. He went to Heather and Enders wedding yesterday. I think it's so cool that they finally did it. About ten minutes after I laid down again another knock on the door. Tog! We hadn't heard from him in months. We talked and made cookies with the girls. His birthday's in a week so I told him he would have to come over so I could make him a proper birthday dinner. He got a new job with more regular hours so he can come visit more now. Tomorrow the missionaries and matthew are coming over for dinner and then tog is coming over after work. groovy!* Current Mood: lethargic (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 19th, 2007
8:08 pm	And contentment settles in . . . I woke up very early Monday morning. I picked up where Chris and I had left off in Moroni, the last book in the Book of Mormon. Like Revelation in the Bible. It recaps the lives of those in previous pages, the good and the bad, and prophesies of lives in pages yet to come, our pages and our grand-childrens. I had a good heart to heart with Heavenly Father about what these passages held for me personally. How does my knowledge of these things truly effect my life, and better yet, how should they affect it? My perpetually chaotic mind quieted and cleared, and a calm rinsed it clean. I am not perfect, I am not content to continue down certain allies that I visit occasionally. However, I am content to keep progressing, to grow in ambition and strength to carry the weak and humility enough to accept a helping hand when I slip or a peak at the compass when I am lost. Direction is everything and I have found peace in mine. * (Comment on this)
Friday, June 8th, 2007
8:48 pm	my last post Ok, so apparently my last post confused some people, what do you expect from men? So I thought I'd clarify. Everything inside " " was original post from craigslist except for the editing of profanity that I did. Um, did that make sense? (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 7th, 2007
12:39 pm	craigslist best of Sometimes it's refreshing to have people be perfectly honest with you up front. (I've edited, can you tell?) "Alluring, difficult woman seeks stable and assertive man Date: 2007-05-21, 10:39AM EDT I am in search of a patient, assertive, and attractive man to aid me in my quest for self-improvement. These qualities are non-negotiable and the explanation is as follows. After two intense failed relationships, {both which, in retrospect, were almost completely my fault but I was able to successfully manipulate things so as to make each man believe they were in the wrong} I have spent a lot of time thinking about who I am and I have isolated several personality traits that make it somewhat difficult for a normal person to have a relationship with me. I am looking for a man who is secure enough in himself to tolerate our exciting lifestyle {a background or degree in psychology is a plus.} I am determined to find a healthier way of approaching things, as I never want to ruin anyone's life ever again. I have decided to be completely honest right off the bat, therefor eliminating the time it takes to 'get to know one another' {i.e. time it takes for you to realize I am a complete psycho- but by then you are completely helpless to resist my allure and charisma and are unable to wrench yourself from me, your beautiful demise.} Some things you should know: *I have a major 'Daddy' complex. My father, whom I adored as a god, left when I was young. No matter how well you treat me, you will never be as good of a man as my Daddy. *I will never trust you. The first of two men I thought I loved and slept with cheated on me time and time again, and impregnated other women and paid for their abortions with my money. I did not find any of this out until two years into our relationship when we had a home and a life together and I was pregnant with a child of my own. These indiscretions, and my tendency to be rash and impulsive led to me having an abortion. I am prone to bouts of melancholy and self-hatred because of the guilt I still feel over this decision. *I have no communication skills. I will never tell you what is wrong with me, nor will I share any of my secrets, fears, hopes or dreams with you. {I do have several of these- one of them is to someday not be so crazy.} You will have to pry information out of me. I feel like if I confide in you, when I ultimately drive you away- which I am bound to do- you will have these personal pieces of me and that makes me feel vulnerable and I am terrified of being vulnerable. *I have an addictive personality. I was a crack addict when I was 15-16, and relapsed again when I was 18. I like to think I have conquered these addictions but it wouldn't surprise me if I relapsed again. *I am a cold and unemotional *witch*. This, of course, is all a facade, but you will constantly wonder if I truly care about you or not. If you do not pay me 100% of your attention, I will feel rejected and inwardly wonder why you do not love me. Then I will pretend that you are nothing more to me than a mote of dust- which of course I do not notice. If you pay me too much attention I will feel cagey and suffocated and walk out the door without telling you where I am going and may not return for several days. No matter how long we are together, you will never see me cry. I am a brick wall. **CLARIFICATION**- About once every five months I will cry over my vacuumed fetus but when this happens I will lock myself in the smallest possible space I can find so you cannot see me. This is usually a closet or a bathroom, although I was partial to a large trunk I owned until someone confiscated it with my best interests in mind. *Although I will always be completely faithful to you, I will have no less than five men in line who are able and willing to keep me platonic company if you ever need to leave for any reason. This is because I cannot bear to be alone, even though I pretend that that is all I want. *I am terrified of commitment. Know that I will never marry you, or if in a moment of confusion I do agree to marry you, I will not show up on our wedding day. *I have some sexual preferences that some people may not be able to handle. I want sex several times a day and I like to be hit, choked, and called nasty names. Please be comfortable with such abuse. * I am incredibly indecisive. I do not know what I want to eat, wear, or do at any given time. Once we have reached a decision I will change my mind. I am also extremely scatterbrained and lose my keys, phone, wallet, etc. on a regular basis. I will expect you to be able to locate these items. I am also very impatient and want what I want when I want it, with no regards to your feelings. *I throw punches when I feel cornered. I kickbox, so they are good punches. Now that that is out of the way, I do have some redeeming qualities! *I am beautiful, intelligent, educated and articulate. You can be assured that all of your family and friends will envy you for having such a wonderful girlfriend. I am definitely the girl you can bring home to mom. You and only you will know of my dichonomy and my psychotic antics when we are alone. *I can cook a mean steak. *When I am happy, {which is a good portion of the time} you will feel like the most amazing man alive and the center of my universe. *I am artistically gifted. *I have a stable and lucrative career. *I make friends with everyone, including homeless people and vicious dogs. I take bugs out of my house and let them go. As mentioned, I am extremely charismatic and you will be unable to resist my charms. I guarantee you will fall in madly and twistedly love with me, and although you know that I will ultimately leave you in an emotional bloody shredded heap in pursuit of my own needs, you will be unwilling and unable to exorcise me from your life, so serious replies only, please. P.S.- Please be an animal lover. If you are not, then I am not the girl for you." Sometimes it's just funny.* (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 5th, 2007
7:24 am	my alarm didn't go off, grrrrrrrrr. i thought i was getting up early when I was really getting up late. now to wake the girls. * (Comment on this)
Friday, June 1st, 2007
11:05 am	yup, pretty sure the hot tub is gone. that ticks me off. the ant guy will be here in an hour and the house is as disgusting as ever. ellry just said a new sentence, "Dang, Mommy!" Yeah, this is going to be a good day. * (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 31st, 2007
10:29 pm	A post because I can I shoveled rock today. It didn't go as well as I had hoped. I got a new calling today. I hope it goes better than I expect. I'm getting a hot tub tomorrow. It will probably be gone before I get there. Chris says I've been mopey, I've had strep. I'm exhausted but I can't sleep. I'm angry but I don't know why. The house is a mess but I can't clean it. I don't want things but I want items. I want friends but don't have the time. I'm hungry but don't want to eat. And I want these stupid beds OUT OF MY HOUSE!!! (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 27th, 2007
9:52 am	So chris and I have had this awesome date planned for weeks and I end up with strep throat. We finally decided to go and not wait for weeks until we could get another reservation, so we missed going to the chinese gardens because I hadn't fixed my dress yet because I've been sick all week. Once we finally got on the road though it was very nice. We pranced up and down the streets window shopping like we had $100 bills overfilling our pockets. Ran into an old friend from Mojo's, who didn't recognize us until I told him where we knew him from. He remembered "Horndog Rob's" name alright, but I became Sarah somehow. (that's twice in one weekend) We looked at hats for Chris but didn't find any must haves. Dinner was fantastic! As soon as we walked in to the building the lady behind the desk called out across the lobby to take the elevator to the 30th floor and giggled as we walked past, "That's so cute you're dressed up alike." I guess she may have assumed us out before prom, there where some kids there very much in prom attire. Our ears popped the elevator rose so fast. I spilled sushi all over the table trying to eat it in two bits instead of one. But I didn't think I would be able to get the whole thing in my mouth at once, they were huge slices. The view was lovely, we were right next to the window. (I drugged myself so full of motrin that the food didn't even hurt that much going down.) The food was all superb, I even like the bit of sturgeon Chris gave me, and I don't like fish as a general rule. Chris tipped too much considering the waitress messed up his order twice, but he likes to do silly things like that. It's to balance out my stinginess I suppose. And to top the night off our new mattress came in, ooooo it's so comfy. * Current Mood: loved (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 21st, 2007
9:58 pm	Oh my goodness it let me post! There have been long stretches where I just haven't felt like posting much but lately that has not been the case. However, this dumb old computer for some reason has not been letting me. Anyway a lot has been going on, for good and not so good. We went to the beach last weekend, Ailey fell down in the surf and cried but got over it quickly and now won't stop talking about the ocean. We're going to Newport next month for a weekend and the aquarium. The girls are sooooo excited. I'm not really sure what it is about fish that they like so much. I'm taking Kelsey's car back to her this weekend, we've had it since Nov, but Chris finally got the company truck so we don't need it anymore. She's been so wonderful. Exept for the fact that she was suposed to be moving back up here and now everything is in the air again. I miss having her around so much. I've been going dancing with a guy I met at Kareoke and his friends. We went to 80's night last night, it rocked! I wish Chris would come. Oh well, Kels will be up the end of May so he'll have to go with us and then he'll fall in love with it too! hmmm, bed time . . . * (Comment on this)
Friday, March 9th, 2007
2:10 pm	YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a day off!!!!!!!!!! I now have Fridays off (I have to go in for about 15min any time of the day to check the pool) and Sat almost off, 1 1/4hr plus 40min commute. I'm going to see if I can drop the Sat next month, that's a lot of drive for not much pay, then I would have 2 DAYS OFF! 3 if you count Sunday (I usually don't because of church responsabilities) Some of my coworkers seem upset with me but screw um! So the kids get one less day to swim a week, I DON'T WANT TO DROWN THEM anymore, I think that is a definite improvement. I had a 5y/o vomit blood on me in the pool yesterday and I was totally calm, wasn't stressed a bit. I ROCK!!!* (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 28th, 2007
8:10 pm	10 things tagged by kels RULES: Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird habits/things/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names. No tag backs. 1. I have always wanted a teddybear so big I can use his leg for a bed. 2. I seriously dispise shoes, while my husband loves them. 3. I wouldn't date anyone unless we could be friends after I dumped them(and that's how a frazed it). 4. I don't like strait chocolate milk, I always add more milk. 5. I have never smoked or drank or done any form of drug. 6. I love new clothes though I hate shopping. 7. I don't fell complete without kids in my life, but I really can't stand them. 8. I think panhandlers should have to have permits and take drug tests to get them. 9. I throw things when I am angry, especially food. 10. I feel it is my obligation to help anyone and everyone that needs help (i mean really help them, not just enable them) I don't think I know 10 people to tag. Chris, Symon, Max, Gu, Tog, yup I think that's everyone.* (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 22nd, 2007
7:23 pm	I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I've really had nothing else to do for the past week since I haven't been able to move from bed. Usually thinking this much for me is a bad thing, especially when things are not going well, as they are right now. So I've strictly kept my mind to constructive things. Mostly floor plans and decorating. Things that I cannot do right now so I am less anxious about actually doing them. As I lay in bed this morning the girls were watching Aladdin. I began of course to think of what my three wishes would be and how I would fraze them. After getting tiered of physical things and knowledge I began to think about what I would change if I could go back knowing what I know now. Usually this too would be a bad start to thinking for me as I would begin to beat myself up for all the dumb things I have done. I cannot tell you why today is different. - When I was about 3 I think, I would tell my dad that my brothers had been watching porn while he was out. - 4y/o, I wouldn't have called 911 just to see how it worked and then lied to my mom about it - I thought about insisting that my mother not marry alan, but I think that would throw me too off course, I would have no why of supposing what would have happened after that. And would it be fare to mom? - Never played alone with my step sister - Not taken so many dishes down the steps at once - started dance sooner and gotten more serious about ASL sooner - never thought myself in love with schaak (I think this alone would have changed my habits drastically) - paid attention in math, i really did enjoy it - paid more attention to NOT hurt those I love - brushed my teeth every time I was frustrated - not dated till i was 16, but stay close friends - i think i would still leave Ca, again my life would not be with chris had i not, and that is worth all the hardship and pain that came from leaving my life behind - become close friends with chris from the start but not date him - get into the running start program - NEVER let braces be put on me! - visit home more often - not seriously date anyone until chris was ready for me(quit drugs, more at peace with himself, etc.) - stormed out of Kids Club - Get married first - stick up for myself to chris - never taken that sales job - never bought that car - been better about the pill until we were (more) ready - been better about ASL with the girls - told chris not to take the tracker (job)waste of money, or the perfume sales - never moved into that disgusting duplex - never let that Know-nothing doctor near my kids - buy this house six months sooner when the owner was asking half the price. (that one gets me) - be a better visiting teacher - be a stay at home mom. I think these are most of them. I think I will try to live as if I had done all these. Does that seem backwards?* (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 14th, 2007
10:16 am	So I have the flu. Yuck! I'm on the down hill side at least, or I wouldn't be sitting up. Chris has been trying so hard to keep the girls out of my hair. Speaking of which, I'm going to have it cut soon. I don't want to, but long hair is just to hard with my job. I'll see if I can donate it. The Momma gave me some tips on keeping my skin from freaking out from the pool. I hope they work. Chris should be getting his company truck this week, which is good considering Kelsey has been so generous already with her car. The vague outline of a plan is that I will drive her car down to her and train back up. I wish i weren't sick, I wouldn't feel so bad about taking time off for non-sick time so often. Oh, yeah, Happy Valentines Day, go kill a snake or something. * (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 31st, 2007
9:40 pm	I just had a very nice conversation with a very old friend. I wish I had more of those. No pretenses or point, just skimming over the last few weeks events. Pausing on highlights to laugh uncontrollably, and not caring to stop. I've had a pretty good day in all.Woke up cranky but still got a few chapters of Matthew in. Chris has been wonderful, cleaned and played with Ailey for half the day, went shopping and got me some sort of surprise and looked hot as ever when I got home. Work was, well, work, but what are you gonna do about it. Got to poke fun a Symon when I got home, cooked, cleaned, read to the girls and talked to Ryan. Here's to many more days like this one.* (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 28th, 2007
11:42 am	I've decided to get my CPO (cert pool operator) and WSI instructor (teach swim teacher). The second is about a two year process, I don't know about the first. I don't want to lothe children any more. I like kids, I just cant stand them at the moment.* (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 4th, 2007
8:35 pm	* (Comment on this)
8:18 pm	I'M GETTING SEALED!!! I wasn't sealed to my parents because they were devourced before I was born. So my whole life I've had to hold on to getting sealed to my own husband and children, and for quite a while it looked like that wouldn't ever happen either. It's finally happening. My dad and family and my best friend when I was growing up will be driving up from California next week to join us. I'm so excited!!! (I'm sure you couldn't tell) Wed. 10th at 4:00 @the Seatle Temple!* (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 6th, 2006
8:36 pm	So there's this storm right now that reminds me of fall back home. The wind is really warm and the rain drops are large and pierce right through your clothes. My hair gets soaked just getting the mail and I've realized that I don't have a single pair of rain appropiate shoes, so I sneak out bare foot. I'd go barefoot all the time but can't anymore for medical reasons. When I got to work this morning I opened all the windows and sucked in the sweet air.The tree branches stretching from one side to the other just to lurch back again have awakened something in me. It makes me happy and nostalgic and content. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 4th, 2005
6:17 pm	hey, i'm in cali, short visit. it's nice to be home, i miss chris. * (Comment on this)